How can I convince my parents to let me apply to universities that aren’t in our city?

2021.11.27 17:42 authenticgoblin How can I convince my parents to let me apply to universities that aren’t in our city?

So I’m a 17 year old and I’m in grade 12. As a young kid, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor and go to medical school. When I was in 5th grade I was already researching universities and programs.
My parents are adamant that they don’t want me to apply anywhere outside of our city, meaning I have the option of two universities. I’m only able to apply to 3 programs per university, meaning I can apply to 6 programs in total.
I’m a bit upset about this because my dream university is in another city around 8 hours away, and I’ve been wanting to go since I was in grade 10. My next two unverisities choices are also in other cities.
My parents say I’m not allowed to apply anywhere other than the two universities in our city. I’ve tried to argue with them about it but they just get really upset. I don’t have a college fund like most of my friends because I was adopted and my parents thought I was going to be “too disabled” to go to university. I have ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, some developmental delays, auditory processing disorder, etc, but it’s never been too much of a problem. I mean, I have an IEP in school so I get some accommodations like extra time, but every single year I’ve been in university level courses, or “AP” as I’m pretty sure they’re called in the US. My mom also says I have autism, which I don’t think I have and I remember being tested and told I don’t have it, but my mom claims that it never happened and it was a long time ago so I probably remembered it wrong.
Anyways, my parents say that I have to live at home if I want them to help me financially, and that as long as I live at home while going to university, I won’t have to pay rent, buy my own groceries, etc. They also said they’ll try to help cover my tuition but only if I stay at home.
They’ve said that if I decide to go somewhere else, the cost will be extremely high and I’ll have to take out a student loan, which I’ll never be able to pay off. They also said that I’ll have to work multiple full time jobs which is impossible, meaning I’ll be forced to drop out of school to pay my debt and end up crawling back to them anyways.
They got really upset when I suggested I would just apply for scholarships and get a roommate and stuff. They accused me of wanting to get away from them after everything they’ve done for me and being ungrateful.
My dad then said he doubted I could even survive in the real world and that I need to stay with them. They both believe that I can’t function out in the real world if I’m “alone” and they’ve said that they’re the only people who will ever truly care for me because it’s a dog-eat-dog world and my friends would betray me if they had the chance.
They also said that I’ll be competing with people who have 90% averages and higher, so I won’t get into the universities I want anyways. They said that I should be realistic and stay in our city.
My mom said she needed to stay in our city because of her cancer treatment and when I said that she could do it somewhere else, she got angry and said that her living is more important than me going to a specific university to get a degree I could get at the university by our house. She said I was selfish and said that she knows that I want her to die and that she has no idea why I hate her after all I’ve done. I agree that her life is more important than me getting a stupid degree, but I don’t understand why I can’t leave while my parents stay.
I just feel really bad but I still want to apply to other places. I can’t without their permission though, they said that they’re paying for my application costs so that means I can only apply to programs at places they approve of.
My friends say I should apply anyway, since I have the money. I recently got my first job and I have enough to cover a few $50 applications. That being said, I definitely do not have enough money to move out and go to school in another city.
Every time I try to talk to them about it, it turns into them yelling at me and I usually end up crying or blanking out. Whenever this happens, they end up comforting me and telling me they’re doing what’s best for me and it’s just really confusing.
How can I convince them to let me apply to other places? And are they right when they say that I wouldn’t be able to go to university in another city without financial help from them?
submitted by authenticgoblin to Advice [link] [comments]

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